Ever since I was a kid, I remember being told that lying is the worst thing a human being can do – – never lie and stand by the truth. Following ethical rules seemed to be an important part of our childhood education and telling the truth was at the top of the list. Actually, I agree with telling the truth and avoiding lies, but the most important aspect of lying has always been ignored. What we were never taught during childhood, or even later as grown-ups, is the fact that more important than lying to others is lying to yourself. Surprisingly, this aspect can make or break your entire life and dreams.Lie to yourself and ruin your entire dating life.
The most important step in achieving a successful relationship is the ability to objectively evaluate the quality of your dating life. You cannot fairly evaluate your relationships if you twist the facts by lying to yourself. This just suppresses problems which will finally open up one day when it might be too late to resolve them.
As an example, imagine an Iranian girl who has met a Persian man on a dating site. They have been dating for a couple of months. There are issues and their relationship worsens over time. Our Iranian girl is happy that she has a partner she can do things with. They have physical intimacy. They see a future together, and the list goes on. Because of these positives, this Iranian girl convinces herself that the issues they have are not important and will be fixed automatically over time. What this Iranian girl should realize is that the very first step in making this relationship successful is not to lie to herself. She should be honest about her relationship and not brag or boast about her partner. She should see everything just the way it is. At the same time, she should not go overboard and become critical of everything about her partner as well.
If she is honest, she can recognize the issues in her dating life (If there are any) and then find ways to fix them. Being happy with meeting someone new and procrastinating about fixing any issues will give her temporary happiness, but eventually might damage their relationship severely. If, for example, he has a gambling problem, our Iranian girl cannot just ignore it with a lie (i.e. “He will change after we have kids.”). This is a lie she is telling herself to continue her short term happiness until the problem forces itself into the open.
If you are looking for long term happiness, you need not lie to yourself. Doing so can crush your future and dreams very easily. Accept the facts about your relationship. Do not ignore them, but do not make them look worse than what they are. Now is the time to find ways to fix them.
In some cases people know that they are not in the right relationship, but they stick with it. Read this article to know more about such situations: ”Why Do Some People Stay in a Wrong Relationship?”
If you have ever experienced lying to yourself or know somebody who has, let us know about her/his story.